Contrary to what some modern thinkers may say about women like me who are very outspoken about women’s rights, I do not believe men and women are inherently the same. Women are emotional beings, and we struggle with some things in our hearts and minds of which men will never understand the magnitude. Try as they may to figure out what the hell we are crying about, most men haven’t grasped the sheer volume of hormones we women feel pumping through our bodies.

Dear God, sometimes I just want to know what it’s like to watch “Steel Magnolias” and not cry when Sally Field loses her shit at her daughter’s funeral. The scene portrays a rollercoaster of emotion, from stoicism to sadness to dismay to anger to laughter – which really is the true embodiment of womanhood. I’m sure any straight man who has seen this film (and this would only be the case if he were REALLY in trouble with his girl and he’d rather watch that damn chick movie than sleep on the couch) would be thinking, “Man, this woman is effing bipolar!”

If only I could see life through those glasses for a day….

Women, how many times have you had to bite your tongue, turn your cheek, or walk away from a discussion because you were afraid you’d hear the words, “Stop acting crazy” from your man’s mouth?!? Perhaps our behavior can get a little…ummm…strange when we are in a tough situation. Maybe we can be so angry sometimes all we can do is cry. There is a slight chance that we can shock the bejesus out of our man by being so incredibly collected and stoic when a serious tragedy happens, only to cry uncontrollably the next day when he says the casserole has too much pepper in it.

Sure, that may look like bipolar disorder. But Sally Field was onto something. Men are made of steel, and are so incredible at picking up the pieces, fixing what’s wrong, and marching forward to the next hurdle without getting caught up in the “why?”. Women are more emotionally invested in everything. I don’t care what it is, if we are involved in it, we are emotionally invested to some degree. Sometimes we women thrive on being able to handle everything around us, and to handle it like a boss. Yet the longer we try to be the steel structure without involving our natural engagement of emotion, the harder we fall when something unexpected happens. Eventually something has got to give.

Worse yet, once we do begin letting those emotions out, we eventually feel the paranoia set in. We know most men are looking at us like, “damn, she’s crazy!” so we get the sudden urge to suck it up and pretend nothing is wrong. This only heightens the risk of our man actually saying those dreaded words, but in the heat of the moment all rationale is lost, and it’s best to simply ride the tidal wave of hormones. We just aren’t made of solid steel.

That’s what I love most about men. Having someone who can look at a situation without emotional cloudiness and make good things happen is such a necessary part of life. Even a man who is sensitive and in touch with his emotions will still be able to think rationally in the heat of the moment (and these men are like gold to women!). The truth is no matter how strong I can be, how many things I can juggle in my schedule, how many tough choices come my way, eventually my womanly emotions get the best of me.

…And I become like Sally Field.

“It’s not fair! *sob, sob* I want to know why!!! *sob, sob* I’m so mad I could just punch something! *sob, sob* No! Never mind! I’m done crying!” *go back to doing dishes*