I won’t bury the lead. In the five stages of grief, I’m currently in the newly discovered sixth phase: Petty.

Several months ago, I decided to schedule a therapy session for the day after Election 2024 “just in case”. Thank you, self. I woke up that day, a jumbled mess of emotions and questions, ready to search my soul and sort out the next steps with my therapist of 12 years. Her first words to me were, “Ok, what are we going to tell our people?”

Our people. The words brought me to tears, and then we cried together. “Our people” didn’t mean “those who voted for Harris.” She knew that I would be struggling to trust anyone around me. She knew I would have to rebuild relationships with my family, friends, and soon-to-be-estranged people. She knew what I knew, but couldn’t verbalize yet: This is going to be hard, but I owe it to myself to set some new boundaries, and some people will need to know why.

The past few years I’ve spent time talking with people, trying to understand different points of view. I spent less time writing here, and more time listening, analyzing, and asking questions. The results of this election hit me like a ton of bricks: It got me nowhere expecting my fellow citizen to learn history, policy, or feel empathy for my values.

People respond to incentives. And those incentives in 2024 are bumper sticker politics with a promise of shiny objects that lack substance. Retribution and external validation are stronger motivators for the “forgotten man” than turning the other cheek or accepting progress.

The Democratic Party muffed the punt on this election. So now it’s time to be honest about what a second Donald Trump presidency means: some people want a hero, even if that hero is a sexual assaulter, child predator, and pathological liar. And yes, all of those things are easily provable by his own actions and words.

For those who overlook his indiscretions for the sake of his policies: Is he truly the only person capable of carrying them out? If he alone holds the “magic touch” to save the country, what does it say about him that he won’t share the tools or methods? Is that the mark of a righteous leader — hoarding solutions instead of empowering others to act?

Someday, even if his voters don’t figure it out, at least some of us already have: he’s a selfish man, willing to sell out anyone who steals his opportunity for personal gain, clout, or privilege. Those of us who voted for Madam Vice President Kamala Harris didn’t want a savior in a president. We wanted a leader who could inspire communities to care for one another equitably, with deep empathy, and with a purpose.

We wanted someone who understands that deep cuts to government programs creates harm to real humans, and that cutting programs requires surgical precision rather than a hacksaw. When shifting power from the federal government to the states, a responsible federal government will ensure all required steps are in place to make sure the shift has no loopholes, blind spots, or known inhumane repercussions.

Empathy didn’t win. The real winner? Scorched Earth. Apparently, that’s what American voters want.

Hence, my petty phase of grief. I’m replacing typical Christmas gifts for my MAGA/MAGA-adjacent family members with donations to charities for groups who are now vulnerable in the new administration. I won’t attend family functions this winter because I’ll be too busy renovating my basement to make room for a potential crafting business and a new podcast. My partner and I may both be out of work once our careers are gutted by Mango Medusa and his Flying Monkeys, so I have to pick myself up by my bootstraps, right?

Several people, from strangers to my chiropractor, have tried reassuring me, “Oh don’t worry, he won’t do that.” They are admitting he’s full of shit, even his voters, because they don’t believe he’ll do what he campaigned on.

No surprise, the people who voted for empty promises are paying those empty promises forward. *eyeroll*

Yet I still wonder what so many others have already asked on social media: why Americans voted a man whom they don’t believe will deliver on his promises that happen to hurt their loved ones. That’s a level of denial that I still can’t grasp. Also, a level of cruelty that I hope we won’t see come to fruition.

Until further notice, I’m basking in my petty phase. Since some in my circle couldn’t see the chaos a Trump presidency would bring — tearing down government programs without a backup plan — I’ve decided that when life lacks joy, I’ll just sprinkle in a little pettiness. And if those gifts cause some hard feelings, well hey, I’m just matching the energy of America!