April 23, 2013 by liebestropfchen
So I’m sitting in the salon, doing my two-ish month ritual of getting my hair cut and dyed (because I am old enough to finally accept that I am getting grey hair, but young enough not to allow the “silver takeover”). I decided to forego the highlights and just go for an all-over color.
While I envision my normal routine of looking something similar to Sputnik with tin foil all over my head (highlights), my change in color leaves me with my hair soaked in goo and squished into a sleek pile in the back of my head. As I sit here waiting for my color to set in, I notice I am getting a lot of odd stares from the other customers in the salon.
After checking for snot bubbles, and making sure my shirt wasn’t tucked into my underwear, it dawned on me that these strangers have discovered the very reason I don’t ever leave the house with a wet head. Better yet, I don’t even leave my bedroom after my shower without wrapping my head in a towel or doing some kind of makeshift style/comb over/shakeout in case someone happens to see me.
Yes, these women have seen it, and they are just as horrified as I am.
I have an oddly shaped noggin and a rather large forehead. This is why I wear bangs, because I’m afraid airline pilots may mistake my forehead for a runway, only to discover too late that their passengers are in peril due to my unfortunate genes of extra space above my eyebrows.
I can’t wait until my stylist comes back and sets my hair free from the gelatinous goo that leaves my hair plastered to my oddly shaped head.
Otherwise, these ladies might go blind from staring at my pasty white skin! Don’t look at me right now!!